Home Days 131-157. Aug 1-27th

 Almost a month since my last update but what a month! It has been full of highs and lows but the overall feeling has been that I’m managing to keep moving forward 🙂

The funding question around my ongoing care continues to rumble on and I have to admit that has left me feeling anxious and angry in almost equal measures. I can totally understand how people must feel like giving up when it seems like you’re constantly being told the equivalent of “Computer says No!” Over and over again.😞 It seems that the system can’t cope with any circumstances that deviate from a prewritten flowchart. That said, I can’t let this demotivate me and, until we get a final outcome, I need to concentrate on doing more for myself so that my need for personal care becomes less over time. ( End of the boring finances moan 🙄)

A massive thing for me this month was finally being able to get back to my own Hairdressers @aurum_hair in Knaresborough.

 It’s crazy, I know, to travel over 60 miles to get your hair cut but this wasn’t just a visit to a salon. It was a return to one of my old routines. Another thing I can claim back from Sepsis. I would often round my trip off with a visit to my oldest friends, The Wonderful Wards, on the way home. So that’s exactly what we did🙂. 

Gillian and Robert have been with me throughout all of this, but it was the first time the girls had seen me since before my amputations. I try not to underestimate the initial impact this can have on my nearest and dearest and have to admit that, while eyes may have become a little dewy at times, they took it very much in their stride and I was just glad to be back in their company once again.🥰 

I’m also very much aware of the impact of seeing someone with four amputations  can have now that I am getting out and about much more. In the main, I have had nothing but positive reactions and most people have shown a great deal of consideration without being pitying. Children though are by far the most openly curious so, whenever I can , I encourage them to come over for a look and a chat. I love the fact that they will knock on my shiny hard legs or rub the stumps of my arms while asking where my hands and legs have gone🙂. Both David and I have agreed that we need to come up with a more child friendly version of what happened but I’m holding off David’s suggestions of “Shark attack🦈” or “ This is what will happen if you don’t stop biting your nails!”😂

I’m pushing on with Physio and OT although I have to admit, I’m not doing nearly as much on my arms as I am on my legs. I just seem to be more focussed on walking than anything else. Jill my physio is as enthusiastic as I am and is really challenging me to push myself.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRrDwuV7/  

I know some of the videos don’t always work in the bog so I’ve copied the link to Tiktok as well ( look at me eh?😉)

I also know I’m not going to be racing up and down stairs any time soon, but just knowing I could if I had to is a massive comfort to me. 🦾🦿

I’ll finish this post though with the stark reality of what being a Quad-amputee can be. This week, after a particularly tiring day of OT on the morning followed by Physio on the afternoon, I had my first hard fall in the house while on my own.😞 I’ve stumbled, tripped and slumped loads of times but this was a full “Felled like a Tree” event. I was making my way from the Kitchen to the Lounge when next thing I knew, my crutches were out from under me and and I crashed to the floor. It was a really heavy fall and apart from the shock, I knew that my hip had taken the brunt of it. 

I lay there for quite some time, going through the advice I was given down in Roehampton in the event of a fall. Take 5 minutes and slowly take stock of what it is you’re feeling. Is it shock or is there something physical going on? Is it real or phantom pain I’m feeling? I must have lain there a while before I realised that the Pendant I wear in case of falls hadn’t activated so i pressed that and alerted the Care provider that I had fallen and couldn’t get up. They told me someone would be with me soon. No sooner had they hung up than poor David came through the door to see a set of legs sticking out from under the stairs! An awful shock for him to come home to but I assured him I was okay and we should just wait for assistance.

The carers arrived and the paramedics were called who advised that I was to stay where I was until they could get to me. The carers left, David got pillows and blankets and lay down with me on the Hallway floor until the paramedics arrived two and a half hours later. If it wasn’t for the fact we were told not to eat or drink anything until they got there, David said we could have had a picnic!

I know falls are an everyday hazard of an amputee, but this one did bring home just how helpless I felt and apart from my bruised hip ( and ego), I think my confidence took a bit of a blow too. I spent the next day feeling stiff, bruised and tired and, if I’m honest, a little bit low. On reflection though, this is why I need to get myself stronger and more mobile. Onwards and ( with the help of others…) Upwards. 🦾🦿