Home. Days 66-80. May 28-June11
An extremely busy two weeks packed with lots of firsts, most of which have been prompted by David’s return to work.
We finally received the start of the care package, but still no decision on how it’s to be funded. Four meetings now and still no resolution. Hugely frustrating but a great relief to have some help in the meanwhile. The staff who come in are lovely and can’t do enough but it’s a very different situation to having David by my side 24/7.
Overall the first week was a success as we were all just finding our way around it but two things really struck home how dependent I am on the help of others. The timing of the night time visit is 7pm. We always eat late so we have found ourselves having to get dinner prepared, served and eaten in time for the carers arriving. Between David getting home and the night time visit it’s just a flat out race to be done in time. I’m then taken upstairs, washed and put into my pyjamas ready for bed…..at 7.30pm…..I’m 56 years old for goodness sake😕😕
The second thing was that it’s impossible to time my need for the toilet exactly to the scheduled visits and on the last day of the first week I had two accidents while I was on my own. The humiliation was almost unbearable and while David and the carers said it was understandable and not to get too upset, how could I not?…I say again…I’m 56.
Having sat and thought about it, these two things made me even more determined to claim back my independence and I made a conscious decision to start to get back to who I am and what I do. The first step was bite the bullet and make face to face contact with my nearest and dearest. I had been putting this off for way too long and over the last ten days or so we have met up with friends.
It was nerve wracking but lovely. I can’t say that I didn’t shed a tear when we came away, as they remain the same people they always were while I have changed so much. I just wanted it to be the same as it always was and once the initial hugs ( I think that’s allowed now 🙄) and inevitable tears were done, it pretty much was…but not quite.
I realise it’s a work in progress and something I have to face and push through. With that in mind I ate out in public for the first time. It was nowhere near as uncomfortable as I thought it was and apart from a young waiter who couldn’t help himself from gasping “Awww Thankyou…” when I handed him my empty plate, nobody took much notice as far as I could tell.
https://gofund.me/85a83064
And what a sight to see Allison as I said to you on the family chat you inspire me to grow and be a better version of me
ReplyDeleteI honestly think you are a machine as our dad would have said, 💕💕😘#proudaspunch xx
Absobloodylutely Allison !!! We have one life and only we can make it happy or sad, comfortable or uncomfortable fun or boring, yes you have changed, but why should this be a bad thing, a hindrance or a boulder that stops you in your tracks. This is YOUR life, live it how you want and not how others expect you too, we will always be by your side xxxx🌟💫😘UNSTOPPABLE remember xxxx
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I get it. Eating in public remain s a challenge for me, but we both keep facing those challenges. Shades of that lovely children's book "Going on a bear hunt" - "we can't go over it, we can't go under it. Oh no - we'll have to go through it."
ReplyDeleteAll |I can suggest re toileting is, as Jill always said to me, "work the problem." If you can identify what it is, it may be possible to find a solution. However, sometimes the solution is just that you need more help - and that is ok too. I am - very slowly- learning to ask for help.
Always available if you would like to talk. Remember that you are doing so well in coping with really tough challenges,m and that you are a walking miracle.
Alison your strength and determination astounds me. Lots love
ReplyDeleteDebbie (Direct Medical Transport.) (I took you to London) xx