Home. Days 14-18 6-10th April

 Well every week seems to have an underlying theme to it and it appears this week is no different. Almost everything I’ve done or felt has been affected by confidence. I know that may sound obvious but let me explain.

When I was in hospital my day was governed by routine. I woke up, had breakfast brought to me, was washed and dressed then transported to the gym, did exercises and rehabilitation, came back to my room, had lunch, had a lie down, maybe a chat with a specialist on the afternoon before dinner, tv with the family then bed. Yes it felt a little like Groundhog Day but it felt predictable, familiar and safe.

Now, the days are just whizzing by in a jumbled blur! It seems like a constant round of home visits, meetings and phone calls whilst trying to fit in washing, putting legs on to go to the toilet, remembering to take medication, squeezing meals in where we can, (hopefully you get the picture), and it can feel a little unnerving. I see David zipping around the house, putting stuff away, fetching things from cupboards, rustling up meals, making up meds etc and I see lots of this stuff just going on around me. I even told David that it felt more like his home than mine! All of this is underpinned by my drop in confidence😕

So what are we doing about it? Well, it’s all about independence and this week we’ve took positive steps to get that going again🙂

 I’ve worried about what I’m going to wear and more importantly how I’m going to put it on myself. I’m not usually a dress person but decided for ease of getting on and off, this would be a good start. Nothing like a bit of online retail therapy. I went mad and ordered nine dresses ( don’t worry, I didn’t keep them all) and spent nearly two and a half hours trying to put them on and seeing how they looked with the bright red prosthetic legs ( a bold choice at the time but difficult to colour match.) Thankfully I’ve kept a few that make me feel “dressed” but it also gave me the push to sort through my wardrobe and the confidence to throw out the things that, practically, I’ll never wear again.

This week I finally had the official handover of my powered wheelchair. It’s a bit of a beast but so manoeuvrable! A bit twitchy on fine movement (as my door frames now prove) but it is going to be instrumental in regaining my independence. Picks up quite a pace outside though!

And I started work proper with OT and Physio this week. We’ve decided not to over-reach while building my use of the split hooks and have pared it right back to picking up and putting down smaller objects. It takes a lot of effort so Physio have given me some exercises to build up my shoulder muscles. I’m hoping I can improve my time each time I try.  

As you can see I even had a bash at Tik Tok!🙂 I also took the huge step of posting on Facebook for the first time since my illness. I’d been avoiding engaging with my friends, even though I’ve been sharing my journey with people I don’t know for months. The response was heartwarming and I’ve reconnected with so many people. I’ve even had friends from my time in Australia , Fiona and Jennie, volunteer to join the team on my Gofundme page and they are going to coordinate fundraising efforts from Down under!

That, along with kind donations and shares, has boosted the fund hugely so thank you. And to those of you who have offered to do fundraising events I am eternally grateful.

A long post this week but really busy times. I hope I haven’t bored you too much.🙂