Day 74-77. Jan 27-30th

 On Wednesday I woke up knowing that after all of the measuring and preliminary fitting the team would be bringing my completed prosthetic Hooks  for me to try for the first time. It didn't matter how much I'd prepared myself, having them there in front of me and then putting them on for the first time, reality really did hit home 🙁

I'd discussed "my Hooks" a number of times but here I had the stark realisation that these were now "my Arms". I had had a similar experience when I saw my prosthetic legs for the first time and, like them, I'm sure I'll get used to the Hooks but I just found it upsetting. I know that they are supposed to be extremely functional but, superficial as it seems, body image  is still a huge thing.

On a practical level, I found that the left arm was really uncomfortable and I wasn't able to wear or use it. The right was okay though and with some practice I was able to open the split hook, although closing it was more difficult. Both will require some further adjustments so the team took them away with them. I didn't particularly enjoy the experience and while I know I will get used to it, I decided to put it all to the back of my mind for the rest of the day.

I thought I might just throw myself into my leg exercises for the rest of the week but unfortunately my stump shape is changing on both legs ( which I'm told is normal ) and was causing me problems with pain and fit of my prosthetic legs. So much so that I wasn't able to complete as much standing or walking as I have been and it seems I am going to have to give them a rest. On the positive side, this happened leading into the weekend where I can devote my time to resting up without missing any planned exercise or physio.  Hopefully by Monday I’ll be ready to get back to it.

Comments

  1. Sam BarwellJanuary 30, 2021 at 5:56 PM

    You're doing amazing. Take a breather, allow your mind to catch up to your body and focus on yourself. Everything will come in the right time. 💕

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kim SmithJanuary 30, 2021 at 6:19 PM

    Oh Allison I wouldn’t even entertain hooks I’m almost 3 years down the line & I’m currently waiting on mine due to lockdown so you’ve beat me, I’ve seen on Facebook other quads doing amazing things with hooks so I decided to go for it, I want to be able to cook again.
    I completely understand why you would feel like that it’s all new, all we want is our own hands & legs, give it time my lovely you are still in very early days it’s so difficult adjusting I was put on citrilopram for depression I didn’t think I was depressed but my daughter finally managed to convince me, I’ve never felt better so maybe you could consider it, it’s like a miracle plus I sleep better now as well.
    Keep up the amazing work & maybe you can show me a few tricks & give me some tips on the hooks take care xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownJanuary 30, 2021 at 7:31 PM

    Hi kidda, yeah sounds like you've had a tough few days.... Your head and thoughts are bound to be all over the place, it's a massive step for you. Try not to dwell on all the negatives though(easy for me to say of course). Hope next week is a good one for you..... Hey get Rich to tell you about my plumbing, that'll cheer you up.... Just think of me in my plumbing overalls, covered in grease..... Wrench in hand at the ready😉. Take care chic, King Slonzarelli and Anita xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tina MorleyJanuary 30, 2021 at 7:44 PM

    Wish I could be there to give you a hug. xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownJanuary 30, 2021 at 7:58 PM

    Thought long and hard before replying here allison because how can I begin to imagine how you are feeling
    What I do know though is several months ago our dave showed me a video of a lovely young woman getting dressed using hooks she put on a t shirt a button up shirt jeans and boots with such skill competence and confidence I stopped seeing the hooks and that's the truth 💕the legs the hooks will become an extension of you in time that makes them very special keep going me dear xx

    ReplyDelete
  6. ccquadJanuary 30, 2021 at 9:05 PM

    Hi Allison. I empathise completely. I was so looking forward to getting my hooks but, like you, cried when I first wore them. The second time was better. I asked to have my photo taken and looking at that on my phone helped. When later I put the photo on my blog and had positive and encouraging comments there, that also helped. The thing that helped most, however, was when I was able to use them as a tool. Finding the things I was now able to do because of them gave them a purpose and made them useful. Hang on in there and persevere - it will get better even though it feels overwhelming now.

    ReplyDelete
  7. JulieFebruary 14, 2021 at 8:55 PM

    you are such a positive person and have come so far, just think of these as an extension to what you will be able to do once you are independent, easy for me to say I know, but everyone is there behind you and this is a little hurdle to overcome, but come on girl you are rocking the red. keep inspiring us all xx

    ReplyDelete

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